Day Seven

It was when Father Valiyedath was about to leave, that Nancy entered the church. Father stood hesitating for a moment. He then turned and walked back to the church. By that time Nancy had entered the church through the front door. Nancy felt as if the vacant porch was gobbling her like an ancient dinosaur. Far away, Father Valiyedath is standing at the altar. How long will it take to reach there walking?

Father is pointing to the confession box. Nancy stood there hesitating for a moment and then walked towards the box. She heard Father’s movements across the netted confessional screen. Soon the questions flowed.

‘How long has it been since you confessed last?’

She did not remember. Six months? One year? Two years?

‘I don’t remember.’

‘Don’t remember!’ Father’s voice had a steely edge. ‘Don’t you know that true Christians should confess at least once a month?’

‘Father, I have not committed any sin.’

‘Child,’ Father’s voice rose. ‘Who takes count of sins? You or the Lord?’

She did not say anything. She liked the masculine voice of Father. At least to hear this voice, I could have come for confession!

‘I know that of late you are seeing a young man.’

‘Is it a sin Father?’

‘I also understand that he is not a believer.’

 ‘But Father, he looks like Jesus.’

‘That’s temptations of Satan. You should take care not to fall for them. Do you have anything to confess?’

‘Nothing, Father.’

‘Did he not touch you?’

‘Once.’

‘Ah! that’s why I say you have things to confess.’

‘Father, you are talking without understanding the situation.’

‘Why?’

‘Once when I fell from a moving train, it was he who supported me.  Had he not held me I would have been trapped under the train. That is how he touched me.’

‘Which means, he touched you while saving you.’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh…’

Nancy did not disclose that he held her close to him in his arms for a while. Even if it is a sin, it is not done by her.    

‘It is not a good idea to get close with people mentally; especially who don’t belong to our faith. When is your papa coming?’

‘I don’t know, Father. May I leave now? It is time for the train.’

There was no reply. Even after Nancy went out, Father Valiyedath remained inside the confessional box. It was about temptations that he was thinking-Temptations of Satan. Who knows in what all forms it would come? Rather, what is right and what is wrong; and what do we know about it?

When she saw the engine driver that day, stretching his head out of the engine room and smiling, she was feeling rather angry. She turned her head and walked past. Anthakkshari was a flop. Despite thoroughly scanning the entire compartment, she could not find even a single good-looking boy. Maybe it is what the day portends. She wondered what the situation would be in her office.

Instead of walking towards the end of the platform she started climbing the foot-over bridge. She was aware that sitting in the engine room Rajan is looking at her in surprise. Let him, who cares!    

It was Malathy who started the issue. She asked, ‘Have you not brought sweets after getting the new job?’

Bhaskaran Nair was inside the chamber. He did not come out. The computer was not booted. Without saying anything, Nancy switched on the computer. There was work half-done on Saturday. She searched for it and started typing.

‘Why are you not saying anything?’ Malathy insisted. And that was quite unusual. Generally, if she doesn’t get an answer at the first instance, she would not pursue. But now, she was bent upon getting sweets from Nancy. Nancy had this premonition that Malathy and Bhaskaran Nair must have had a discussion about her new job. This was her tactics to speak and elicit more information about the new job. Nancy never considered Malathy as a person who relished sweets.

 ‘See, sir is calling you’ Malathy said. Nancy went inside the chamber.

The atmosphere inside was tense. Like it was going to swell up. It was as if the relationship between her and sir was shattering to pieces.

‘Please sit.’ Bhaskaran Nair said in a strictly formal tone. Nancy sat.  

‘Thomas from Maxwell had called.’

He stopped; looked at Nancy’s face, as if studying her reaction. She was not saying anything.

‘What he wanted to know was two things. One is about your character. Second, the reason behind your resignation to accept a lower paid job.’

He stopped again. When he found there is no response, he continued. ‘I replied to the first query. And I said that I don’t know the answer to the second one. If you know, I wish to hear it from you.’

Nancy is not saying anything.

‘There is one thing that you forgot to think of. Thomas does not know my age. He does not know that I am a sixty-year-old man. And he does not know the relation what I have with your papa. So, he would have been surprised to see a twenty-year-old throwing away the job without any reason and joining a lower paid job. He would have made his own assumptions. He may even be suspecting me.’

Nancy’s face turned ashen. She had not thought about that. Her mind was full of conflicts. Even though she was cutting jokes, she was not happy. The feeling that she is a burden to Bhaskaran Nair has been troubling her for some time now. When she was under such a predicament, he had said about her being a burden, though in a jocular way. It was not necessary for her to take it seriously. But that day her mood was like that. Now she regretted.

‘I will not come in your way. You are free to go. Only thing is that you are leaving some unwanted pain, before moving out.’ He continued, ‘It was only when Thomas informed me that I came to know about the lower salary. Let it be; as you wish. Have you written to your papa?’

Nancy is sitting without saying anything and with her head down. Tears welled up. Suddenly she got up and went out of the chamber.

No one understands me. She told herself. No one. Alphabet on the monitor got broken. Rainbow colors appeared on the edges.

 ‘What happened to you?’ Rajan asked. As usual he was waiting at the station gate. He did not mind Nancy neglecting him at Angamaly station and again here on this platform. Nancy was silent. Her face was sullen. He asked again.

‘Why can’t we have a Masala Dosa?’

When he saw that she was still not responding, he held her hand and said, ‘Come on.’

She did not withdraw her hand. While walking to the platform she said.

‘We will go to some restaurant, outside.’

‘I thought of the railway restaurant so as not to delay you.’

‘Never mind. I will go by bus. It is just for a day.’

They walked out of the railway station.

‘If anyone promises to buy me Masala Dosa, he can even kidnap me; this is my condition!’

‘You love Masala Dosa that much?’

‘To be frank, I will go with anyone who promises to buy me an ice cream also….’

‘Ahaa…!’ ‘What other eatables are you fond of?’ Rajan asked.

‘Easier to list out items that I don’t like!’

‘I guessed so.’

From the kitchen counter of the restaurant, he brought Masala Dosa in two plates. Keeping the plates on the table he asked, ‘Shall I bring ice-cream right now or we will have it after finishing Masala Dosa?’

‘I will need one more Masala Dosa.’ Nancy said.

‘You are not joking, aren’t you?’

‘Did you bring me here to spoil my mood?’

‘Let me ask you now. What spoiled your mood today? You did not even look at me in the morning. At least while leaving the platform I expected to receive a smile as a reward. That also didn’t happen. It is only because of my mild nature that I still stay with you.’

‘I am going to fight with everyone.’

‘Lord Jesus, what am I hearing?’ he imitated Nancy’s style.

‘Why do you call Jesus Christ? He is not a party to any of these. Moreover, he may not like an insolvent Nair invoking him.’

‘Who said I am a Nair?’

‘One can make out that from a man’s nature. Will any Christian spend money like this? He would try to make a little more.’

‘Good advice, so we may skip ice-cram.’

‘I repeat; have you brought me here to wound my religious sentiments?’

It was eight o’clock when Nancy reached home. Chechi was anxiously waiting for her.

‘Why are you so late? I was scared.’

‘I am exhausted Chechi. Two Masala Dosas and one cocktail ice-cream. I don’t want supper.’

‘Was there any party in the office?’

‘No, I went out with someone.  With an engine driver.’

‘Engine driver?’

‘Ye Chechi. The boy is glamourous.’

‘Look, don’t make me shout at you. I am going to write to Papa tomorrow itself.’

‘No, Chechi. I was only joking.’

‘What’s his name?

‘Rajan’

‘Rajan? His full name?’

‘I don’t know Chechi.’

‘What is his religion?’

‘Chechi, I don’t know. When I asked him, he told me not to ask and not to speak religion.

‘You could have asked his father’s name.’

‘I asked him. His father’s name is Narayanan Nair.’

Mary stood there not knowing whether to laugh or to rebuke.

Nelson, in the meanwhile had taken out the toffee from her bag and started eating it.