CHAPTER 8

Hardly two months left for the exams. I will have to sit in the same class next year, if we chase this treasure, the existence of which was not sure even. For Kuttettan it is the S.S.L.C. If he has to get admission in any college he has to score good marks.

I came back to the present. Vandana is sitting as if captured in a magic spell. Her exams are also nearing. Has the chess board appeared to spoil her exams, like it had done me thirty years ago? I had serious doubts about it. She is also turning 15 in two months.

"Then what happened, Dad?" Vandana asked waking up from the spell.

"Darling, this is your 10th class exam, your main exam. Now you try to study. I will tell you the rest of the story after your exam."

"No Daddy. I can't study till I hear the whole story."

"And then nothing happened. What could have happened? We went after that and I lost the exam. Kuttettan somehow escaped narrowly. And we got nice beating from your grandpa."

"How come Kuttammama got admission in college if he didn't have good marks."

"Those days there was no such mad rush for college admission like it is today. If you apply there are fair chances that you get admission."

"Dad, you tell me the remaining part also. I am going to study now."

Looks like Vandana was a bit scared of the admission.

"Then nothing happened, believe me. When my result came there was a trial by my uncle, and the first witness was your mother herself. She has given a statement before the jury that we were all the while playing with a chess board we got from the attic and that we had damaged an old photo taken from there."

"Now I see mother was doing all these, double crossing and getting Dad and Kuttammama nice beatings."

"Didn't I say that in the first place?"

"Okay, now what happened?" She was eager to hear the remaining part.

"Then what, uncle visited our room. We weren't expecting it. We had kept everything on the table. Your grandpa took them and threw it somewhere, took the photo back to the attic. We never got that much beating all our life."

"Still your married Mom, poor Dad!"

I didn't say anything. It was a long history. If I give anything as an indication, he would have clung to it and won't get up before hearing it. Let her forget all these and somehow study.

"Enough, now go and concentrate on your studies."

I realized that the conclusion did not altogether satisfy her. I somehow managed to send her to her studies. Sitting alone, memories started haunting me. I was more pained when I got beatings from uncle than losing the exam. That pain lingered for days together.

One day Kuttettan also went. He went to Calicut with uncle to join Guruvayoorappan College. Uncle walked in front, followed by Kuttettan holding a small bag and Chathappan with a fairly big iron trunk on his head. As they disappeared in the small lanes after the vast paddy field I turned back. I climbed the steps at the gate and reached the courtyard. Aunty was walking towards the kitchen wiping her eyes. At the porch Indira was sitting with a gloomy face. I ignored her and walked inside, climbed up the stairs and reached our room. After uncle had beaten us we both were ignoring Indira. We hardly talked to her. Even though one month was over, the pain still lingered. Since Indira was the reason, we could not be friendly with her. Only when she opened her mouth did uncle think about inspecting our room and punish us. Otherwise he would have finished it with half an hour's harangue.

The room looked empty and the bed too lay empty and large. Controlling a sob that welled up inside I lay on my back on the bed. I remembered my first encounter with Kuttettan and the loneliness came back on the double. The realization came around that I am alone and I remembered mother and sister Radha. Next Saturday I should go home. Mother never used to come and visit her brother. It was the continuation of an old score that remained unsettled. When she got out of the gate of this nalukettu with her husband after securing her share of the property, little did she know that fate was not on her side. My father died suddenly and she was left with two small children to tend. In the acute suffering that followed mother had to soften a bit. After the birth of his girl child Uncle had also changed his hardened stand and came to visit his sister. Seeing a would-be son in law in his nephew, he started helping. When I grew up to be in high school, he brought me to his home.

Despite all these mother still harbored her old grudge. Occasionally when uncle sends her a sack full of rice and vegetable that grew in the compound, mother pretended as if she didn't know anything and turned her face away. It was Radhedathi who used to tell the laborers where to unload them. She would call them at the kitchen verandah and give tea and some eatables and ask about aunty. I used to feel that mother's behavior was spiteful and malicious, or she had blocked her mind in order not to accept reality in its stride. She didn't remove the block until her death.

Kuttettan's memory came to my mind again. He was not a substitute for Radhedathi, something more than that. He was only two years older but protected me at school and outside. Now I am a forlorn child. I cannot tell my problems to anyone, cannot expect solace from anybody.

"Nandetta, are you crying?"

I opened my eyes and saw Indira standing near the bed looking at me. Yes, I realized that I was crying. Without my knowing it tears ran down and wetted the pillow. I wiped my eyes and sat up. Somehow I forgot my animosity towards Indira at that moment. I looked at her. She has changed and suddenly she has become a big girl. For the last one month I was not looking at her face at all. Now she is standing in front of me; she came a long way from the days she used to hurt me.

"Are you sad that Kuttettan has gone?" She is asking.

"Are you not sad?"

"Yes, a little bit. Not as much as you or Mom."

I looked at her questioningly.

"I don't know why, but I am not over sad or over happy for anything. By the way, are you afraid of sleeping alone here?"

"A little bit." I confessed. Frankly it never occurred to me that I would be alone in this room during night, just below that cursed attic. I was indeed very scared."

"Do you want me to keep company?"

I looked at her with an expression 'oh, what a brave girl!'

"I am telling you seriously. I will ask father to keep my bed on that side. Then I can escape from mother also. Not that I am brave or anything. Like grief and happiness I am not frightened either."

I knew that it was true. Even after dark she would go to the family temple in the compound alone with the brass oil lamp to place it in front of the deity. I was scared to go near that temple even during day time.

"If you want please tell me. I will ask Mom and sleep in this room."

"No, thanks, you sleep with your Mom." To ward off my fear I am getting the company of a girl who is 4 years younger to me. What a shame!

From down the stairs Aunty called Indira. She replied. "Yes, Mom."

"Don't you want to have tea? Ask Nandettan to come down."

When eating the ilayada in the dining room Indira said.

"Mummy, Nandettan was crying."

"Why?"

"He was sad that Kuttettan has gone."

Aunty fell silent. I ate my ada without raising my head.

Anyway Indira had behaved with me nicely after that. She has completely changed her habit of double crossing. Slowly I had confidence in her that I could tell her my secrets even. Possibly she was also suffering from loneliness, without her knowing it.

For my luck I had prepared a sketch of the layout of pieces on the chess board before Uncle had thrown it or destroyed it altogether. Now I never hide that piece of paper when Indira comes to the room. She will take it from me, look at it and then keeping it in the drawer would say.

"Let's play chess?"

Initially I had to warn her from losing her valuable fighters like castle, bishop or knight. Slowly she learned the game. When I jump my knight she would look to two further movements that are possible and realize that my intention was not altogether innocent and that when I give a check in the next move I would fork her castle. She would say.

"I can make out that you are eyeing on my rook."

It was in one of those days that I felt the urge to go up to the attic, just a feeling that something is dragging me to it. As days went by, that feeling got stronger and stronger. I was scared stiff to go there alone. In fact I couldn't even think about that.

Once when playing chess Indira asked me.

"If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?"

"Why not?

"Where did you get that chess board?" The question was sudden.

I contemplated her question. I knew that she wouldn't double cross me anymore. This was a secret only me and Kuttettan knew and now that he is away I wanted to share it with somebody else. I said.

"From the attic. It was in a wooden box. Not exactly a box, it is a writing table."

She then wanted to know the full story. I was also interested in parting with it. After hearing my narration for an hour she said.

"It is really mysterious, isn't it?"

"Exactly." I tried to make fun of her to lighten the situation. She, however, was not in a mood to enjoy the humor in it. She said.

"Let's go to the attic."

"What???"

"I said, let's go to the attic. Even I wanted to see all that, and especially that box and those lanes you said you two had wandered, and that staircase also."

I was awe stricken and was looking at her with an admiring eye."

"And then I wanted to find out if I can open that box."

This is surely the Kuttettan’s sister, looks like she is bolder than Kuttettan. I said, "Let's see."

Now after thirty years of life together, I am asking Indira about that chess board. Vandana is sleeping in the next room. Since she started sleeping alone we do not close our bedroom. She is also a brave girl like her mother. When she has grown up she might have felt that father and mother need privacy and used to say. "You close your door, I am not afraid."

But we never closed our door. "Why should we close the door; if you want to take something from this room you can come without waking us up."

I asked Indira. "How did you get hold of that blasted chess board?"

"That was a long story." Indira said. "In fact it is the story of change of my mind."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Remember when father thrashed you that day? I felt very bad seeing it."

"You never had this feeling towards us. What made you to feel so?"

"I don't know myself. Remember previously when father used to beat you two I used to make faces at you two."

"Yes, I haven't forgotten any of that, you monster."

Indira smiled. "But then the thrashing at that time was too much. I felt guilty, because it was I who double crossed you. From that day onwards I have switched my loyalty from father to you two. But then there was no way to convey that to you. You two avoided me the moment I approach you. I felt so bad, and one day I cried a lot."

I looked at her in wonder. Indira, crying? No way. I never believed it, but the expression on her face was convincing.

"One day I saw father going to our compound with this chess board." Indira continued. "There were heaps of dry leaves kept for burning. We used to burn them near the coconut palms, remember? I hid somewhere and watched father, just to know his intentions. He threw that chess board into one of the heaps and lighted it."

"And then?"

"I felt so sad. I knew that it was a stuff you needed very badly. When the fire started in full flame father left. I immediately went and rummaged the dry leaves still burning and retrieved the board. My hands burned, but still I wanted to do something to compensate for the pain father had inflicted on you because of me. But then one thing surprised me. That board was so hot it would have scalded my hands, but when I took it to the pond to wash it was not damaged and there was no scalding or burning sensation on my hands and fingers.

I asked calmly. "Where did you hide it?

"I hid it in many places."

"But how come you did not give it back to us."

"That's......." She continued slowly. "That's because I did not want you to lose interest in studies. And then I thought in our olden days we won't have any other work to do and we can try to find the meaning of it."

"Smart girl! So you had decided that I would be marrying you?

"Then what! Where on earth will you go looking for a better girl?"

"Oh!......"